The Collapsed Magenta

Chinese New Year is identical with red – everything should be in red: the lantern, dress, shoes, red envelope (everybody’s favourite). The celebration is sacred, looking back to centuries ago on the hierarchal structure of Chinese emperor and its families….all what matters is family. It should be celebrated together with family. All descent of Chinese who still keep the traditions will spend the CNY’s eve with family and have a big family dinner together. Then comes the New Year, the younger will greet the oldest then older, those who are older and married give the younger a red envelope (money inside the envelope of course). 
Happy moment, eat together, gather together. Still, like I said, this is sacred. They / we do not drink the night after nor on the New Year. Unlike the Gregorian New Year while we celebrate it joyfully with party and drinks, the Chinese New Year is about togetherness and respect. 
Yet, for the first time during my 22 years of my life, I had a totally different celebration of Chinese New Year. This was not the first time I did not gather together with big family, but the very first time I did not even celebrate it at all in any ways. 2 years ago I bought new dresses, shoes, underwears, any everything was new to keep on tradition. They said we should wear all brand new thing (never ever believe the sentence or statement started with “Someone said”….the mysterious not even exist maybe someone). A year ago, I had my celebration with my cousin and lovely friend in Bali. We had CNY’s eve dinner as family and I had new clothes too. And this year, everything was totallyyyyy different. I did not give a shit about brand new thing, I was so broke as hell as I spent too much money on my holiday. I cut my hair tho, I used “Tradition for CNY” excuse while actually I was totall blank and empty so I decided to cut my hair. I called my family, one clean call-shot. One time call and I greeted every member of my big family. It was never as easy as that. I did not greet my mom directly, her number was out of limit so I texted her but no reply until now. My family stuff is tough. 

Pssst, I had the dinner tho with some lovely people I hang out with, we are not friends just a bunch of humans who hang out together. It was just totally different. 


And I went to the collapsed temple with another awesome friend, so lucky to hang out with her! I witnessed the best sunset view I ever had on Chinese New Year. I never felt so divergent before. The togetherness with some lovely messed up sacked of hormones who keen to hang out with me was priceless. Yeah, if they read this they will obviously get goosebumps. 

I am a divergent and proud of that. I had this thought actually …

If I really get rid of this family and even do not marry a Chinese descent guy, I would really lose the tradition

I do not care tho who I will marry, what race, what color. Just that thought crossed my mind. I might keep the tradition….but I cannot guarantee that .



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